Bullying is a pervasive issue that can leave deep emotional and psychological scars, not only on children but on their families and communities as well. Defined as repeated, intentional harm inflicted by one person or group upon another, bullying can manifest in physical, verbal, and social ways. It is not just about isolated incidents; it’s a pattern of behavior designed to exert power and control over others.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness about the devastating impact of bullying and encouraging people to take steps toward prevention. Established in 2006 by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, this month-long campaign has grown into a national movement that involves schools, parents, and communities working together to promote kindness, empathy, and respect. The goal is simple but powerful: to create safer, more inclusive environments for children, where they can learn and grow without fear of intimidation or cruelty.
The Many Faces of Bullying
Bullying takes many forms, and its effects are always damaging. Physical bullying is perhaps the most recognizable, involving hitting, pushing, tripping, or intentionally breaking someone’s belongings. However, it’s not just the bruises and physical scars that hurt—the psychological trauma inflicted by physical bullying can last a lifetime. Verbal bullying, another common form, includes insults, name-calling, mocking, and threats. While it may not leave visible marks, the damage to a child’s self-worth can be profound and long-lasting. Social or relational bullying, often called “mean girl” behavior, is more insidious and harder to detect. This type of bullying revolves around exclusion, gossip, and the deliberate destruction of someone’s social standing. Children who are socially bullied may find themselves suddenly excluded from a friend group, or the target of vicious rumors designed to alienate them from their peers.
However, social media has changed the nature of bullying. In the past, bullying was often confined to the schoolyard, but today it follows children home, casting a shadow over what should be their safe space. Platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and even private text messages, have created virtual battlegrounds where the hurtful behavior can continue far beyond the school day. Cyberbullying often feels inescapable for victims because it happens at home, after school, and across time zones. Whereas school bullies may only target their victims during the day, social media provides no such boundary. A victim might receive hurtful messages or find themselves tagged in humiliating posts late into the night, contributing to a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness.
Social media offers bullies a new weapon—anonymity. Hidden behind screens, bullies feel emboldened to say things they might never dare to utter face-to-face. A child can be bullied by classmates or even by people they have never met in person. For many young people, their online identity is as important as their real-world one, and an attack on their digital persona can feel just as harmful as physical bullying.
The permanence of online interactions is also troubling. A mean-spirited post, photo, or comment can be shared, screenshotted, and preserved indefinitely, giving the bullying a long-lasting impact that traditional bullying may not have had. The public nature of social media means that victims are often humiliated on a much larger scale. Instead of being tormented by a small group of peers, they can find themselves ridiculed by hundreds or even thousands of people.
Bullying Statistics
Bullying remains a significant problem, despite increased awareness and anti-bullying campaigns. Statistics reveal the scope of the issue: in 2018, 1 out of every 5 high school students reported being bullied – 8.2 million children (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2018).
Statistics around bullying also reveal the differences in bullying in regards to gender. Physical bullying tends to affect boys more than girls, with 6% of male students reporting incidents of being physically bullied, compared to 4% of female students (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). However, girls are more likely to experience relational aggression, such as being the subject of rumors or intentionally excluded from activities; about 18% of girls reported being the target of rumors, compared to 9% of boys, while 7% of female students reported being excluded on purpose, compared to 4% of male students (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). When looking at the overall prevalence of bullying, a slightly higher percentage of female students reported being bullied than male students—24% of girls compared to 17% of boys (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). This illustrates how bullying takes on different forms depending on gender, with boys facing more direct physical aggression and girls more often experiencing social and emotional exclusion.
A staggering 41% of students who have been bullied believe that the bullying will happen again, highlighting the long-lasting effects of repeated harassment (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). Among the students who reported being bullied, 13% said they were mocked, called names, or insulted, while another 13% were the subject of damaging rumors; 5% percent experienced physical bullying, such as being pushed, shoved, or tripped, and another 5% reported being purposely excluded from group activities (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). These figures reveal that bullying often takes multiple forms, from verbal abuse to physical aggression and social ostracism, each leaving a lasting impact on the victims.
Bullying incidents occur in various locations throughout the school environment, with hallways and stairwells being the most common, accounting for 43% of reported incidents; classrooms, meant to be safe spaces for learning, were the second most common site for bullying, with 42% of students indicating that bullying occurred there; other locations include the cafeteria (27%), school grounds (22%), bathrooms or locker rooms (12%), and the school bus (8%) (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019).
Online bullying, or cyberbullying, was reported by 15% of students, showing how digital harassment is becoming a growing concern alongside traditional school-based bullying (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). Cyberbullying reports are highest among middle school students, followed by high school students, and then elementary and primary school students. From 2007 to 2019, the percentage of students who report experiencing cyberbullying at some point in their lives has more than doubled from 18% to 37% (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). When students reported their experiences with cyberbullying, the most frequently mentioned forms included mean and hurtful comments (25%) and the spreading of rumors online (22%) (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). Additionally, the nature of cyberbullying varies by gender; girls were more likely to indicate that rumors were spread about them online, whereas boys were more likely to report receiving threats of harm online (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020).
Despite the high occurrence of bullying, only 46% of students who were bullied reported the incident to an adult at school, leaving many cases unaddressed (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). The most commonly reported reasons for bullying include differences in physical appearance, race or ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, and sexual orientation (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). These findings highlight how societal prejudices often fuel bullying, and marginalized students can be particularly vulnerable to harassment based on their identity.
For younger students, bullying is just as significant a problem. Among tweens (children aged 9 to 12), nearly half (49.8%) reported being bullied at school, and 14.5% experienced bullying online (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). Interestingly, while 13% of tweens reported experiencing bullying both at school and online, only 1% were bullied exclusively online (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). Moreover, 20.9% of tweens have either been cyberbullied, bullied others, or witnessed cyberbullying, underscoring how early exposure to these harmful behaviors is becoming increasingly common in the digital age (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). These statistics remind us that bullying can begin at an early age and that it often straddles both the physical and digital worlds.
Beyond the School Walls
The consequences of bullying reach far beyond the confines of school, profoundly affecting a child’s overall well-being and development. Students who endure bullying often dread the school environment, leading to school avoidance that can severely impact their academic performance. Many may resort to making excuses to stay home, feign illness, or display heightened anxiety as school hours approach. This reluctance to attend school is not merely a fleeting phase; it can evolve into chronic issues that hinder their educational progress and engagement.
The emotional toll of bullying is equally severe. A child who faces persistent bullying may grapple with low self-esteem and start to internalize the negative remarks made about them, leading to a pervasive sense of worthlessness. Reports indicate that bullied students often experience significant declines in their self-perception, with 27% noting that bullying negatively impacts how they feel about themselves (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019). Additionally, 19% acknowledge that their relationships with friends and family suffer, while another 19% report adverse effects on their schoolwork, and 14% notice a decline in their physical health (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019).
The psychological ramifications are profound, as children who are bullied are at an elevated risk for depression and anxiety, as well as sleep difficulties, lower academic achievement, and even the possibility of dropping out of school altogether. For tweens who experience cyberbullying, the negative effects are even more pronounced. A staggering 69.1% of those targeted report that their self-esteem has been adversely affected, while 31.9% say it has impacted their friendships (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020). Physical health issues also arise, with 13.1% noting that cyberbullying affects their health, and 6.5% stating it has disrupted their schoolwork (Patchin & Hinduja, 2020).
In the most severe cases, the trauma associated with bullying can lead to debilitating mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or suicidal ideation. The emotional strain doesn’t end with the victims; their families often bear the burden of their child’s distress, facing feelings of helplessness, frustration, and guilt as they navigate the challenges of supporting their child through such a difficult experience. The ripple effects of bullying can create a cycle of pain that extends beyond the individual, impacting the wider community and highlighting the urgent need for effective intervention and support.
Recognizing the Signs: Is Your Child Being Bullied?
As a parent, it can be difficult to know if your child is being bullied, especially when they don’t come forward themselves. Some common signs to watch for include unexplained injuries, lost or damaged belongings, frequent headaches or stomachaches, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, and a sudden withdrawal from social activities or friends. Academically, you may notice a sharp decline in their grades or an increase in school avoidance behaviors. Emotional signs include mood swings, irritability, sadness, or anxiety. If your child seems overly sensitive or easily upset, these may be indicators of bullying. It’s essential to have an open line of communication with your child so they feel comfortable coming to you when something is wrong.
Supporting Your Child
If you discover that your child is being bullied, the most important thing you can do is offer a safe, supportive environment where they feel heard and understood. Let them know that it’s not their fault and that you’re here to help. Work closely with their school, teachers, and counselors to address the issue and put measures in place to protect your child from further harm. At home, focus on building their self-confidence by encouraging activities they enjoy and reminding them of their strengths. It can also be incredibly beneficial to involve a mental health professional, such as a counselor or therapist, who can provide your child with the tools to cope with the emotional fallout of bullying. Therapy can help them process their feelings, rebuild their self-esteem, and develop healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety.
Recognizing the Signs Your Child May Be Bullying Others
While it’s difficult to imagine your child as the one causing harm, it’s crucial to recognize that children can sometimes become bullies themselves. They may act out due to stress, peer pressure, or a desire for control. Signs that your child might be bullying others include aggressive behavior, a lack of empathy, frequent trouble at school, or a tendency to blame others for their actions. They may also downplay or dismiss the hurtful behavior, claiming it was just a joke or that the other child is overreacting. Addressing this behavior early is essential. Have open conversations about the impact of bullying, and explain that words and actions have consequences. Counseling can be helpful in addressing the root causes of their behavior, teaching them empathy, and providing healthier ways to express their emotions.
Preventing Bullying: What We Can Do
Bullying prevention starts with education. Schools should have clear, enforced anti-bullying policies and foster an environment of inclusivity and respect. Parents play a critical role as well by modeling positive behavior, encouraging kindness, and teaching children how to handle conflict without resorting to aggression. Open conversations about the emotional impact of bullying and fostering empathy from a young age can help children understand the importance of standing up against it. Encouraging social connection, whether through sports, clubs, or other activities, helps children build friendships that can protect against social isolation and reduce the risk of being bullied or becoming a bully. Most importantly, communities need to work together to create spaces where children feel safe, supported, and valued.
Hope For a Bully-Free Future
While bullying is a complex issue, it is not insurmountable. With increased awareness, proactive intervention, and a commitment to fostering empathy, we can make great strides in reducing and preventing bullying. By working together—parents, teachers, counselors, and communities—we can create a world where all children feel safe and supported, where kindness is the norm, and bullying becomes a thing of the past. Healing from bullying is possible, and with the right support, both victims and bullies can move forward toward healthier, more connected lives. Let’s take this month as an opportunity to recommit ourselves to ending bullying and building a future where every child can thrive.
References
National Center for Education Statistics (2019). Student reports of bullying: Results from the 2017 school crime supplement to the crime victimization survey. U.S. Department of Education.
https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2019/2019054.pdf
Patchin, J.W., and Hinduja, S. (2020). Tween cyberbullying in 2020. Cyberbullying Research Center in Partnership with Cartoon Network.
https://i.cartoonnetwork.com/stop-bullying/pdfs/CN_Stop_Bullying_Cyber_Bullying_Report_9.30.20.pdf
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2018). Bullying facts [infographic]. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network.
https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources/special-resource/bullying_facts.pdf
